believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
The air taste purple.
Randomize
