I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
