Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Randomize