can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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