Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
