I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
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