But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
