So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize