i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
