i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
