I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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