my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
