How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
