i don't like sucking hair
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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