Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I smell like Dick and happiness
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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