you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
