YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
whose parrot is this?
I'm bleeding and have questions
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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