I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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