That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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