I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Moan for me like Helen Keller
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
