You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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