I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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