He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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