He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
