I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
