Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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