we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
