they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
