He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
You pole danced in your parka.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
