ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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