I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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