So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
