If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
