absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Randomize
