a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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