Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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