I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
