Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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