Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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