I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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