you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
