the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
