I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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