How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
