I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
accomplished twins. life is a go
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
