We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
