Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
