haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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