I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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