I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Randomize
