some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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