You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
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