girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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