found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
