I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
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