im six kinds of drunk right now
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
