my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
i now understand why vodka
Randomize
