yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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