note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
