You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
