my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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