last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
