so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
