So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
