I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
