So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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