I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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